Identity is a set of meanings an individual holds on to themselves according to their roles, perceived characteristics, attributes, sense of acceptance, and respect from others in society. For example, “I am a boy/girlâ€, “I have curly hairâ€, “I look prettyâ€, “I am not good at public speakingâ€, and “I am overweight compared to my friendsâ€. This complex picture of self-concept impacts one’s belief in one’s self. People tend to develop perceptions about themselves compared to others based on their identity, which restrict them to recognize their true potential. Furthermore, people tend to behave in a certain way to maintain the level of identity standards. For instance, if a woman thinks of perfectionism and dedication as her student identity, she will try to be perfect and dedicated to doing her assignments to maintain her level of self-identity. In this process of holding on to the identity standard, a person starts to view themselves as more or less capable than others in different situations. Besides, they beat themselves up if they fail to achieve their expected level in any situation. This reflects on their self-esteem, as they become critical toward themselves in unfavorable situations.
Some Causes of Low Self-Esteem
Genetics: Research shows that the genetic factors that shape a person’s personality can play a role in the stability of self-esteem. Health: It is often difficult to feel good about oneself when sick, tired, and weak. Developing a positive aspect of a sense of personal wellness and vitality is an important foundation of self-esteem. Overly critical parents or friends: Parents who are constantly critical or set higher standards and expect perfectionism from their children create negative impacts on their child’s self-esteem. If a child had received messages like “You are not good enough†and “You can never be good at anythingâ€, they could internalize these messages as an adult. These critical messages from parents can become their inner voice. As an adult, they strive to be perfect to overcome the sense of inferiority. Inner voice: It matters what a person speaks about one’s self. “I am a loser†and “I am not good at anything†are some examples of the critical inner voice. Identifying one’s inner voice and reframing it helps to improve their self-esteem. Reframing can be done by validating their needs at the moment and by expressing empathy toward themselves. For instance, “I am a loser†can be reframed as “I can learn from my failures and I will do better next time.†Social group: The social structure that divides people based on one’s caste, gender, race, religion, and economic status also contributes to one’s self-esteem. Significant childhood loss: If a child loses one of their parents or other significant people in their life or is separated from parents as a result of divorce, they may have grown up with a sense of emptiness. As an adult, they may seek to overcome their feelings of emptiness and insecurity by being overly dependent on others. Comparison with others: Comparing one’s attributes and achievements with others is destructive to their self-esteem. One might believe they are not good enough or they should achieve more to be like other people, and so they beat themselves up a lot rather than encouraging themselves for what they have accomplished already in their life. Points to improve one’s self-esteem:
Ability to say no to things that are not important.
Having a positive outlook toward life.
Ability to speak up for themselves and believe in their values.
Acknowledging and meeting basic needs.
Developing a support system.
Making time for taking care of themselves daily.
Reframing one’s inner critical voice with positive and self-supportive statements.
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